The following are excerpts of a work-in-progress. Somehow I wanted to try to write a tribute to Bob in a manner similar (but in no way comparable) to 'The Horror of Howth Castle'. I ended up with 20 pages of notes and lots of headaches. I still want to have it worked out, but have no idea when. So since this was after all intended for MQ 10, I hope you'll forgive me to offer here mere bits and pieces of what I hope will mature into something more readable one day
A combined text and comic book maybe?
Fnord Pnerfnect walked into the Rnestaurnant at the nend of the Gnalaxny. "A Gnarglneblnastner, plnease" he askned to the bnartender. Behind the bnar Mnarvin the pnaranoid nandroid sighed. "Mnerdrne", he thnought. I'm in the wrong story. And it's badly written.
Fnord woke up in mid-dream. At first he couldn't make up the difference between reality and dream. Fnord woke up in mid-dream. He couldn't see what he would define as reality and what he would define as dreamality. Fnord woke up in mid-dream. He couldn't decide what his current state of delusion and confusion would come up with to confuse and delude him even more in this hypnopompic state. Mnerdrne, he thought.
The four previous days had changed his state of awareness forever. After last night, he could never stop questioning every bit of information his neurological system would feed to the beast of his interpretation. He would doubt even his doubts.
It all began as a beautiful day. He had driven a while in his perfect Ford convertible. The sound of the Mustang engine roared as he drove through the barren plains of Kansas.
He had stopped at a Restaurant called 'Tinto Kalachnikow', a lair of anarcho-punks and crypto-revolutionaries. He liked to hang around those subcultures, although he never felt like being a part of it. At the bar a cute girl had struck his attention. In his most suave ways he had tried to get in touch. Her name was Simone Ikaros. She would rock his world.
He read the leaflet written by Simone Ikaros. It was a review of a book by a guy whose initials made him smile.
|Walker Arlon Rogers last book called Gorilla Anthology is a collection of stories dealing with the robotic, ape-like behaviour pattern in the absence of an educational grid which teaches how to differentiate between the different systems of information. Acknowledgement, the authentication of this information, comes in different flavours: scientific expert knowledge, folk knowledge, Practical skills and Tacit knowledge. All four sources of knowledge share a basic commitment to justify its own beliefs.
As the author himself wrote:
I like keeping the readers uncertainness on how much you should believe, thats because Im not sure about how much I should believe.
Pretty heady stuff youre dealing with, lady, said Pnerfnect. I never was much of a thinker myself
Oh but that seems about to change said Ikaros mysteriously. You know, WAR was only an acro-crypto-pseudonym, an attempt at Operation Mindfuck in the Temporary Autonomous Zone of mainstream thought
I used to hang around the guy behind it all, a fascinating man. Wrote tons of books under a multitude of different names. Hes gone now, sadly.
At the same time gas was poored through the door lock into the room, and Pnerfnect started to become dizzy until he completely lost his consciousness.
And there was Chaos.
Chapter One. Eyeh Asher Eyeh.
Fnord awoke, his head sore and stood up in what looked exactly as his own bedroom. Simone Ikaros stood next to him. He looked out of the window and to his amazement, seeing an infinite array of grey slabs he realized he wasnt in his own bedroom at all, at all. Where are we? he said. In Howth Castle, Dublin answered Ikaros, staring outside, but she seemed much less anxious than he was. In fact he was nearly in shock: What is it you want? Who are you? Whos number One? I am not a number
Calm down, man, said Ikaros, I feel as lost as you do, but I dont let fear take over control. Stop the issues I mean the isses I mean maybe the is of identity might prove less useful in our particular predicament
There you go again, youre using complicated words so Im more and more taken over by chaos so Im panicking and thats not a nice thing to do- Hey look over there, next to the intrance wall said Ikaros. In the distance they could see the silhouette of a guy in a wheelchair waving at them. Come on, lets go see. And try to focus on your subjective experience for a change. Fnord muttered along, not understanding what she meant. They went down the impressive stairs following a non-euclidean course, out of the hallway and walked towards the unknown.
Simone Ikaros shrugged, recognizing the old man in the wheelchair. Professor! she yieled, youre supposed to be quite dead. Or so I read on the internet, they even put up a statue of you in Ingolstadt! The old man, who looked like a joyful trickster, replied: It seems true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense. Fnord had no idea how to react to this strange fellow. He died on February 22, 1994 you know, said Ikaros. And on January 11, 2007 as well. Again the old guy spoke: I seem to have lead a dozen different lives in one lifetime. I don't see how to take death seriously. It seems absurd.
Who the hell is this guy? asked Fnord.
Ikaros looked up at Pnerfnect, smiling extatically. You can call him Olaf the black the Younger, as his ancestor from the Island of Man went by the name of Olaf the Black. Or Phineas Promethix. Or Spardabo Perturicus. Or gCopaleen the uncooked. Or just give him the name he sometimes takes in his books, professor de Selby.
De Selbys spiral-ringed finger pointed at the box on his knees. A strange feline smile seemed to evolve on the surface of the box, as if projected from the inside. Maybe a cat lives in the box, maybe not. He calls him Random Chance like one would say God., Ikaros said. The box started to purr. Not that he believes in it. He just likes to call the damned thing that way. Oh, an atheist, hey? asked Pnerfnect. On the contrary, an agnostic answered Ikaros. Again de Selby spoke: I can conceive of a principle of organisation within the universe that makes things work out in a certain way but I cannot conceive of a personality. I do not believe anything, but I have strong suspicions. I have no dogmas, but one catma
Oh, now I understand, its a kitty kat inside the box? asked Fnord, Can I see it?. De Selby sighed. Cosmic schmuck, he said and gave a gentle tap on Fnords back. Fnord almost had his first illumination. Almost.
Celia FX Login folded away in two dimensions, as she was a cinematographic projection of Francis Ford Copulas priapic libido.
Fnord had his first illumination. And there was Discord.
Antichapter One. General Semantics.
Outline: Alfred Korzybski, Ezra Pound and William Burroughs in a closed box-like room.
Burroughs said: Goddamn floating whorehouse. Death is the navigator and the box collapsed.
Chapter Two. Ewige Blumenkraft.
Hanelore Octool Bali the surreal killer approached the trio, her hands covered in blood. Suddenly the lights went out. Its
its the silence of the lamps! yieled Pnerfnect in terror.
Isnt that exceptional, a female jewish black serial killer? asked Pnerfnect. I havent met an average serial killer yet, answered Ikaros, as shown in Murphys law
de Selby added: "The normal does not exist. The average does not exist. We know only a very large but probably finite phalanx of discrete space-time events encountered and endured. Unless you're an illiterate and malnourished Asian with exactly 1.04 vaginas and 0.96 testicles, living in substandard housing, you do not qualify as normal .
Besides, said Ikaros shes a surreal killer, not a serial killer. After killing she disposes the bodies in such a fashion as to create a pareidosis or the illusion of something else. I call that my paranoïa-critical method of dealing with decay. added Bali. I should add she only kills half of her victims, when in manic state; when in depressed state she plays the victim, calls herself Eve Whitehead and lets the antisemites beat the hell out of her.
The very embodyment of the two main archetypes in literature according to de Selby
Belic R. Goda entered the room, a gun pointed at Bali. He said, If my dog had a face like yours, hanged if I wouldnt shave his arse and teach him to walk backwards. Weird way to seduce a lady, said Pnerfnect. De Selby answered The most beautiful affaires are those in which both parties suspect the other of deception but can never prove it. There are Wheels within wheels
Makes one wonder whether god has a willy said de Selby. At that moment something fell. All were silent looking at Belic R. Godas detachable penis on the floor.
Eeew, gross was Fnords only remark. The door slammed open, and Ergodas evil twin, Bébé Toutout ran inside, took the penis and took off with it. Hey it was my turn to use it this week, R. Goda yieled and ran after him.
The female two-in one and the male one-in two were at last alchemically combined.
Fnord Pnerfnect had his second illumination.
And there was Confusion.
Antichapter Two. Conspiracy theories.
Outlines: Wilhelm Reich, DAF de Sade, Niels Bohr in a closed box-like room.
Niels Bohr threw away his mask. Underneath was the sacred Chao, and its thunderous silence made Reich and de Sade hide in the corners of the box.
Chapter Three. Three Quarks for Muster Mark.
Fernande Vito Peaurickson received the box from de Selby, let Random Chance escape who took refuge into Fnords back pocket, and showed its contents to Lanicko Loïc LaTess. He turned into the lineaments of his essence: a mathematical abstraction and was sucked into the box. Bells theorem PO free energy, said Peaurickson and took off. According to Bells theorem, said de Selby, everything in the universe affects everything else every which way in space-time.
Fnord Pnerfnect had his third illumination. And there was Bureaucracy.
Antichapter Three. Quantum Physics.
Outlines: Carl Popper, Buckminster Fuller and John Dillinger in a closed box-like room.
Buckminster Fuller said: Universe is non-simultaneously apprehended. Dillinger threw away his mask. Underneath was a younger Dillinger, who threw away his mask also. It kept going until Fuller and Popper started to yawn when finally from the packet of clothes they heard a baby voice say: A beaver annoys houyhnhms, or a thousand cash debts. And the box seemed to have never existed.
Chapter Four. Making the grass green.
Location: Gizeh plateau.
Fnord sighed: Random Chance, Random Chance, I dont think were in Kansas anymore!
Elrom de Rohy made some magickal signs with his stick, the pookah jumped out of his hat and Olga Peacock-Babel turned into a white rabbit. Still talking in tongues, but this time cursing in thousands of maledicta as she was chased after by Random Chance.
Fnord Pnerfnect had his fourth illumination.
And there was Aftermath.
Antichapter Four. Magick.
Outlines: Israel Regardie, Orson Welles and Howard P. Lovercraft in a closed box-like room.
Howard P. Lovecraft threw away his mask and there it was, the YogTsogToth, the mythical retarded übermind. In a casual voice it said: Do not adjust your reality. We shall provide new television sets. And all lights went out inside the box.
Chapter Five. Ricorso immanentizing the eschaton.
Fnord finally decided to get out of bed, still contemplating what happened the last four days. Mnerdrne he thought again.
There was a ring at the door. He walked slowly down the stairs and opened up. Ikaros stood there in utter excitement. A helicopter stood in the background, the engine throttling. You got to see this to believe it. Come on, get in the copter! But Im in my pyjamas said Fnord, yawning. Doesnt matter, come as you are.
A huge yellow submarine was surrounded by a multitude of people wondering what it was. Ikaros and Pnerfnect pushed their way through to the front, where Professor de Selby stood waiting for them. Professor, you can walk?! asked Fnord. "I figure if I learned to walk twice I can learn to walk three times was the laconic reply. On one side of the sub, a strange symbol, looking as an anus between two cheeks. At the other side, in vivid letters, the strange word Sombunall. Now he invented a machine as well, asked Pnerfnect in awe. Its a Tuning Machine. Helps you to shift paradigms really easily, said Ikaros. De Selby added: Since my inventions are by definition eccentric, I regard them as a hobby. Life itself may be a hobby, since it also appears eccentric on close examination. Curiosity ties all my interests together. I seem surrounded by epistemological quandaries like that, how can my mental life ever cease, I always got something to wonder about.
de Selby took off his mask. Underneath was the face of the evil Belic Ergoda, laughing out loud, waving his penis around. You! yieled Fnord. I dont believe it! Dont believe anything, said Ergoda, and he took off his mask as well, revealing the face of Celia Login. It cannot be! I dont believe it! shrieked Fnord. Dont believe anything, said Celia, playing with the penis, and took away her mask. Underneath was the face of Elrom de Rohy. He made a magickal movement and the penis turned into a giant pookah, running around scaring the crowd away. I dont
Dont believe anything! said de Rohy, taking away his mask revealing the gentle face of professor de Selby, again. Dont believe anything! Think for yourself.
|Then Fnord Pnerfnect and Simone Ikaros faced each other. It is I who am the real man and you who are the puppet of my hallucination, said Fnord. It is I who am the real woman and you who are the puppet of my hallucination, replied Simone. I am the sparkle of my illumination, both said at the same time. At that precise moment in spacetime, both realized they were looking into a mirror: Pnerfnect was no more, no less than Ikaros herself dreaming and Ikaros was no more, no less than Pnerfnect himself dreaming. In the sky the words appeared The answer is 42 but the question is 23. Fnord finally had his fifth and final illumination.
He became an epiphany of himself and exploded into thousands of sparkles of awareness, spreading the unspeakable wisdom he had witnessed. Simone Ikaros experienced her wake at last.
Namu Amida Butsu, said de Selby. Immediately the sub turned into a levitating lasagna. He made a giant leap and landed on top of it. A feline smile jumped on his shoulder and started to purr. De Selby turned into a joyfull Santa Buddha. It is doubt, not faith, that makes life worth living. And he added with a big smile: And dont you dare mourn me!
Simone Ikaros laughed and cried and waved at the professor and his catma, flying away on his magic lasagna towards Sirius passing by planet Eris with tons of hilaritas and she laughed even more and she cried even more and she yieled: So long, and thanks for all the fnords!
From afar she could hear the reply directed to all: I love you!
All dialogues by de Selby are words from Bob, mostly either from Natures God or from the audiobook Robert Anton Wilson explains everything.
Maybes dont believe anything
|In Cerebus, a 6000 page graphic novel by Dave Sim, a large number of references are made to the works of RAW! One of the protagonists is the powermonger, conspiring Adam Weishaupt; one of the volumes with collected stories bears the title Flight, maybe referencing to RAWs Trajectories; in this book Cerebus travels through different spheres of awareness, each time tricked into believing he reached the highest, until the eighth sphere is reached; the major trickster leading him into his exploration is the illusionist bearing the name Suenteus Po; every time Cerebus ascends in the terrestrial hierarchy from minister to president to pope he looses more and more touch with reality (the SNAFU principle); when other characters start to claim theyre popes as well it all starts to collapse. Two characters are based on RAWs favourite brothers, Groucho (as Lord Julius) and Chico Marx; Cerebus defeats an conspiracy by the Eye in the pyramid cult; a goat almost gets elected prime minister and in the last episodes Cerebus realizes hes no more than a drawing made by a guy named Dave Sim etc.
Incredibly, these references have never been spotted nor acknowledged by their author!
|Robert Anton Wilson, a famous stand-up comedian at the end of the 20th century, never read one single line from Charles Bukowski! In fact, he never even heard of him!
|No Wife, No Horse and No Moustache were the three protagonists - the spouse, the animal and the husband - in the first comical movies by D.W. Griffith! Later on, when the director was brainwashed by his guru Edward de Bono, he renamed them Po Wife, Po Horse and Po Moustache.
|In 2006, an ostrich was accidentally elected as governor of the state of California when the majority of voters gave a vote of protest because the only other candidate was a tin can of sausages with sauerkraut! This has passed totally unremarked and had no effect on the governing of the state at all, at all. Contrarywise, people kept bragging about the amount of trust they gave to their leader, her gentle wisdom, her excellent analysis of affairs, her amazing charisma and the beauty of the eggs she laid.
|Maybe Logic Academy
This elitist think-tank of non-local ontolligentsia was cybernautically active during the first years of the third millenium! Some of their members became worldwide famous for their revolutionary works on consciousness change in the 2010s. In the thirties the Academy opened its three first local schools synchronously in Capitola, Dublin and Ingolstadt with mosbunall of the original meme-bers as teachers. Based on the works of Robert Anton Wilson, those were the pioneers responsible for the slowly growing, big paradigm shift that completely changed mankinds history in the year 2798! At last years bicentennial ceremony the original academic crew was reanimated for the celebrations. In a collective interview they said they "expected even more changes in the fourth millenium next year"!